I'm lost and stupid without you.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
