paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
