i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
