dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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