went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
