Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So much rum. So many feels.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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