you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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