Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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