The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
