I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
