so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
