you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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