Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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