What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
