Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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