dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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