You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
