Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
