I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
