So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
