Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
