she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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