i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
