Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
