More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
