I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
