My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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