I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
