I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
whose parrot is this?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Who died my cat blue again?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
