You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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