she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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