Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
