is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
ttyl tear gas
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Damn victory sex feels great
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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