Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
