Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
