You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
