The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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