her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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