ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
