For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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