I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
false alarm. still invincible.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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