If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
