JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
