porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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