my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
