is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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