The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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