yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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