I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
