4 words: hood of his car
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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