i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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