I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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