Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
