Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
