How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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