Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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