Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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