You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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