My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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