well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
