Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
